Marketing Mayo

Department of Mashups: The Burger King Windows 7 Whopper

Engadget points to this fascinating development in the Japanese fast food marketplace: it's gastrogigantism meets computer operating software.

Available for just one week, Burger King's "Windows 7 Whopper" is comprised of a stack of seven beef patties on a hamburger bun, measuring five inches in height overall.

Coke Unveils Mini Can: Adorable or Abominable?

In December, Coca-Cola will debut the Coke "mini can," a smaller, sleeker container that will hold 7.5 ounces rather than the standard 12. The formula of the soda will go unchanged, but the smaller can will only contain 90 calories -- sort of like those "100 calorie" packs of snack foods that are so popular.

While a press release for the mini cans pitches the new packaging as supporting "moderation" and "healthy, active lifestyles," Slate is less sanguine, finding that it eerily echoes how tobacco companies marketed light cigarettes. Writer William Saletan argues, "You'll feel better about yourself, because now you're practicing 'portion control' and 'a healthy lifestyle.' Just like you felt better about smoking light cigarettes."

Innovations in Public Relations: The Oyster "Flu Shot"

With a press release promoting "Tasty Flu Shots You Won’t Mind Injecting," Queens seafood restaurant London Lennies is seeking to capitalize on flu season by "administering flu shots orally" beginning next week.

Mind you, there's no actual vaccine being given. Just a chef mixing you a mouthful of oysters, gazpacho, and tequila.

Kraft Hires Bloggers to Pimp Velveeta

Kraft has recruited five mommy bloggers to write about recipe ideas and cooking tips for using velveeta processed cheese. The campaign is replete with a website (VelveetaKitchenistas.com) and facebook page.

Aussies Revolt Against Vegemite "iSnack 2.0"

Following an uproar by Australians, Kraft Foods is recanting on its plans to name a new line of its vegemite product "iSnack 2.0." The high-tech, forward-looking concoction is a blend of vegemite and cream cheese. Yum!

The ludicrous name, which sounds like a joke (but isn't), was selected by Kraft as part of a public naming contest that fielded 48,000 entries.

According to the Brisbane Times, following an overwhelmingly negative reaction to the choice, Kraft issued a statement that it was backing down: "Please bear with us for the next 48 hours as we finalise how Australians and New Zealanders can decide the new name through an independent popularity vote."

An announcement from Kraft Foods regarding the name is expected on Friday.

Alabama Bans Wines With "Nude Nymph" Labels

The State of Alabama's liquor agency has banned the sale of wine which features a "nude nymph" on its label.

The label on Cycles Gladiator wine shows a naked nymph with flowing hair flying alongside a winged bicycle.

Alabama's liquor regulations bar labels with "a person posed in an immoral or sensuous manner."

According to the winery's website, the labels are based on a Parisian bicycle advertisement dating from the late 19th century:

The Joy of Reheating

I recently stumbled across a surprising entry into the frozen food marketplace: Joy of Cooking branded meals. In one of the odder developments in food marketing, it seems that the venerable American cookbook has licensed its name to a prepared food product. Its tagline is "the taste of homemade without all the work."

A website marketing the products (letjoyin.com) gives life to the cookbook by creating an actual character named "Joy," an iconic/ironic fifties housewife pitted against her fast-food loving dolt of a husband, nemesis, "the Kitchen Dragon of Dinnertime Stress."

Lavazza Gets Lusty for Espresso

Photographer Annie Leibovitz has collaborated with Lavazza on a calendar and marketing campaign that features scantily clad women lusting for . . . coffee.

Leibovitz's photos present models in various sexy poses in Italian locales, mostly holding demitasse cups filled with espresso. There's a nude woman tossed with noodles (above), a frolic in the Trevi Fountain, and a truly bizarre recreation of Romulus and Remus suckling from a highly caffeinated model/wolf. See more images at lavazza2009.com.

Via CHOW.

Aspirational Cereal

Grape Nuts are hard to market when nobody really knows what they are. A new campaign is putting the emphasis on manliness: "Men aspire to it . . . It's strong and stern, the father figure of cereals  . . . It tends to break your teeth sometimes."